Sisters are doin’ it (ovulatin’) for themselves…

For the 2nd cycle in a row since the Clomid, I ovulated on my own. It happened…probably Friday? And we did the nasty just in case, even though my husband’s junk is probably not regenerated just yet. That said, we timed it perfectly. I was so proud of us. And proud of my ov’s for operating correctly, and proud of myself for (cue patriotic music) TAKING CHARGE OF MY FERTILITY, knowing the signs of ovulation and not just letting doctors tell me when and where and how.

I also tried fertility acupuncture for the first time this morning. She put a bunch of needles in me and then turned off the light and I passed out. It was phenomenal. I am on a plan of getting stuck once a week for the next three months to regulate the cycles and even make them shorter. She also said I seemed “pretty clean” in terms of toxins, but to choose organic foods from here on out. And she is going to bill my insurance for shoulder pain. Hollah!!!!!

Phoebe out.

Phoebe: Varicocele Repair Post-Op report

My plan to seduce my husband the night before his surgery went horribly awry. I needed his help putting together a video for school and we didn’t finish it until 3am. He was so tired and done with me and nervous about his surgery after that (we had to be up at 7am to take him), that he was in no mood for sex. The good news though, is that my temperature spiked yesterday, which means that I definitely ovulated ON MY OWN. I am not sure whether that means I don’t have to go back on the Clomid or what, but I guess I have a few months to track it and see if the ovulation continues to happen on its own and in a reasonably timely fashion.  I ovulated around day 19 or 20 this time.

Anyway, this is about the surgery. So I picked up my husband at 11am on Friday and put him into bed. He slept and watched movies all day Friday.  He had to work Saturday and Sunday, and just went in there with an ice pack and worked away. He even went out to dinner with friends both nights and he was fine.

As far as how the surgery went, the doctor said that the veins he found in the left testicle were much bigger than what he’d seen on the ultrasound. The good part about that is that the results we see should be marked. The bad part about that is that there could be veins in the right testicle that did not show up on the ultrasound. However, when the doctor “listened” for the veins in a previous exam (a poor man’s ultrasound, done using a microphone and a pair of earphones), he heard nothing going on in the right testicle. So hopefully there is nothing there.  Let’s hope this is the one and only time the poor guy will have to go under the knife. He’s been up and at ’em since the surgery, but even so, it was nerve wracking and I believe he has been in more pain than he lets on.

In three months, he gets his first sperm test.

Woo to the hoo,

Phoebe

Phoebe: Ovulating on my own! That’s right. On my own. Woo hoo!

First of all, I got locked out of my blog for days. It was so sad. I visited it, but couldn’t get in. It was like being locked out of my own house, but still being able to look in the window. WordPress wasn’t all that helpful until I figured out myself what the problem was. Anyway, all is well and my three readers must be relieved too. I’M BACK, GUYS!

So even though my husband is having his varicocele repair surgery on Friday and we aren’t really “trying” at the moment, I decided to continue taking my temperature and sort of loosely charting.

Side note: I went back on caffeine, and then acted like a heinous douche to my husband several times – where something triggered me, a small annoyance, and I had to turn it into a HUGE, monumental situation that I couldn’t get over. So despite the fact that we’re not “trying” at the moment, I am back off of caffeine.

Anyway, I started to sense my “fertility signs” picking up a couple of days ago and today I decided to pee on a stick. Sure enough, there was a surge! I am going to do it with my husband tonight.

This is meaningful for a number of reasons:  First of all, I am ovulating on my own. Secondly, I am ovulating around day 17, not day 45 or whatever is typical for me.  Third, wouldn’t it be amazing if we got pregnant au natural the night before his surgery?

I don’t want to get too worked up about it – our chances are nearly nil, but what the hell? I am going to use some Preseed to help his swimmers get through and then leave it up to biology from there… I haven’t told him about this plan. I just intend to seduce him tonight.  Penises  seem to work better that way:  aroused and unsuspecting.

Phoebe

Phoebe: Looks like a surge to me!

Going for the IUI tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed, legs uncrossed…

Phoebe: Day 15 and still no surge

It’s day 15 of my second IUI cycle. I peed on a stick this afternoon and the fabulous monitor is telling me high, but not peak, fertility. Last month I ovulated on day 16, so I had the surge on day 15. I wouldn’t care if I were ovulating late, except that because my husband’s sperm numbers are low, he is supposed to abstain 2-5 days before the procedure, but no more than that. Also, the nurse recommended that because of his low numbers, he should really abstain for between 4 and 5 days before our procedure. How the hell do you time this stuff out when you don’t know when the procedure will actually be? His last “release” was on day 11. I guess he will need to “release” again tonight then, no?

Anyway, this is the kind of stuff that makes this whole process terribly frustrating and alienating. My body is unpredictable and his is not cooperating either and meanwhile, it seems like everyone else around us is popping out babies left and right. Even the ones in fertility treatment! I know that’s only a perception, but that’s not always easy to remember when you’re navigating this rocky terrain.

Mantra: I am on my own path, and other people are on theirs. And take a deep breath… Aah… All better.

Phoebe: Getting Ready for IUI Numero Dos.

Quick backstory:  I have always had irregular periods.  My mom did too, and had trouble conceiving even in  her early 20’s.  In fact, I have two adoptive siblings.  So I always suspected that when it came time for me to try to conceive, it would not be one of those lickety split situations.  My husband and I got married about a year ago, and would have loved to just chill for a while baby-free.  But I am now 36 (I turn 37 in April), and knowing it might take a while, we decided to start not not trying.  In other words, Trojans aside – let ‘er rip.

Last July, I thought I might be pregnant because I experienced what I thought was implantation bleeding and didn’t have a period for a long time.  I went to the gyno for a pregnancy test, and she said not only was I not pregnant, but I was not ovulating and I should go on Clomid.  After this news, I didn’t have a period for 50 days.  The following month, on a friend’s recommendation, I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which is extremely enlightening.  One of the things I learned is that when you  have irregular periods, you are often not ovulating at all.  So when you finally have what you think is a period, it’s not a period at all, but what is called anovulatory bleeding.  For anyone trying to get pregnant or just wanting to know how your body works, I strongly recommend this book.  It saddens me that, until last August, I had very limited knowledge of how babies are made.  Who knew there was cervical mucous, waking temperature, ovulation predictor kits and all that good stuff?  And I can’t believe I spent the first 35 years of my life trying so hard not to get pregnant when getting pregnant is virtually impossible most days of the month!  Honestly, I don’t know how anyone has an ‘accidental’ pregnancy.  But I digress…

In January, 2009 we decided to see a fertility specialist, or RE as they seem to be called online.  After learning about my background, he suggested three rounds of IUI with Clomid.  If that didn’t work, three rounds of IUI with FSH shots.  Then if we were still not pregnant, we would regroup.  He seemed very encouraging and relatively certain, given what he knew then, that this course of action would get us pregnant. I was assigned a nurse and left the office feeling very positive.  I called several times with questions before my first procedure and my calls were not returned.  The receptionists were rude.  If it wasn’t enough frustration to have to see an RE in the first place and pay for everything out of pocket (my first visit alone was more than $950), being treated like an anonymous pest was not helping matters.

Our very expensive and invasive diagnostic tests showed my girl parts to be in proper working order except for the irregular ovulation, which could be corrected with Clomid.  My husband came in on the low end of all three semen standards:  count, motility and morphology, but not so low that the doctor went off of his initial course.  We did our first IUI on January 27th.  After the sperm wash (What’s a sperm wash?  Oh, yet another costly procedure requiring one’s husband to whack off into a cup, and then hand his nectar of life off to the lab tech who, with a smirk, takes the sample and removes all but the highest quality swimmers), we were working with 12 million of his best guys.  I got my period two weeks later like clockwork.  When we came back for the ultrasound (which is required to start another round of IUI – all of these pricy tests and doctor visits are a constant reminder of our inability to do it “the old fashioned way”), we papered the doctor with questions.

I have three friends who had one unsuccessful IUI and went straight to IVF and got pregnant.  He said, I can’t speak to their cases because everyone is different.  We asked about our chances.  The chances of getting pregnant with IUI are around 10%.  We gain a couple of percentage points with a higher dose of Clomid on the 2nd round, which would make more eggs, meaning more “targets” for the sperm.  We asked why we shouldn’t go straight to IVF, where the chances are about 50/50.  He said if money was no object, sure.  But if you’re willing to be patient, we prefer to do the less expensive and less invasive procedures first.  That seemed reasonable to me, although considering that three IUI’s costs the same as a single IVF, it is a gamble.  I mentioned to the doctor that we would also consider taking a break from IUI and just trying for a natural pregnancy and he looked at me funny.  He said our chances of getting pregnant on our own are 0-1%.  With Clomid, the chances are 0-2%.  I told him the experience was stressful and finally admitted that he was great, but his office was terrible.  He was mortified to discover how I had been treated (in addition to being unattentive, they had drawn my blood unnecessarily and sent me in for an unnecessary ultrasound) and immediately assigned me a new nurse.  I said I didn’t want to be high maintenance, but the experience was stressful enough without the office slacking too.  He said “We have high maintenance.  You are not high maintenance.”  Since then, I have been treated great.

So – now that you’re all caught up – I am on day 12 of IUI cycle #2.  Last month, I ovulated around day 16, but who knows if the Clomid will make me drop an egg earlier.  That said, the nurse said my husband should abstain for 4-5 days before the procedure (which takes place on ovulation day), so we figured last night was a good night to do the nasty.  The one good thing about conceiving medically is that it makes sex only for fun, not that mechanical ‘get pregnant’ sex that so many of my friends have complained about.  Meantime, on Wednesday my husband went to a reproductive urologist who said he may have a medical reason for the low sperm numbers:  a vein that blocks the stuff from coming out.  There is a surgery that can be done to correct it, but it would delay our reproductive efforts.  He is having one more test to determine whether the surgery is necessary.

Two months, some damaged confidence and thousands of dollars later, we have a lot more information than we started with, which is a comfort.

Peeing on sticks until next time,

Phoebe